Marriages are certainly NEVER easy, golden_eve, and I'm so sorry that you're going through ALL OF THIS! I won't tell you what you need to do since I DO believe that you're mature enough to decide by yourself! Not to mention all the other wise, wonderful posters have already gave you some WISE, WONDERFUL ADVICE! I WILL tell you that I'm here for you though and so is EVERYONE ELSE! You're very much loved here and I hope that shows! Whathever you decide please don't neglect yourself! You don't need to make a decision right away! Take ALL THE TIME YOU NEED to decide what the next step will be! We'll be here for you so rest assured on that! Even if you just want support we'll ALWAYS be here for you and WE'LL NEVER JUDGE YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! I hope things will get better soon for you and your husband one way or another! I WISH YOU BOTH THE BEST OF LUCK! You're BOTH in my thoughts and prayers! I WISH YOU BOTH THE BEST OF LUCK! Please keep us updated on your situation if you can and want to, ok? WE ALL CARE ABOUT YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! THAT'S' TRUE! I HOPE THINGS WILL GET BETTER SOON FOR YOU BOTH ONE WAY OR ANOTHER! PLEASE NEVER GIVE UP HOPE! THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE! Sending many AWESOME, kind, safe, sweet, warm, wise and WONDERFUL HUGS TO YOU BOTH, GOLDEN_EVE, JUST LIKE YOU BOTH ARE!