I just saw your recent post. Please, try not to be so hard on yourself. It is very common to fully recognize the red flags for what they are only in hindsight. It sounds like he went heavy with the charm offensive and pressure to marry. You are far from the first person who has been caught up in the excitement of that.

Since he doesn't want counseling, how effective is just talking through things and working on them together with him? That seems to be the main option if you do want to try and work things out.