Hello Ptak,

thank you for sharing your truth. I can relate to your disappointment and sense of feeling disconnected.

I will share with you what a psychiatrist told me once when I was struggling with depression and feeling very much alone in life....something I have replayed in my mind many times since then:
"In the U.S. friends are for fun, just fun. Not for sharing problems. Not for deep talks. Just for spending time and having fun. if you try beyond that, you will feel very let down."
Now at the time, I found her words to be quite sad. But that was many years ago and now I am thinking I need to follow her approach. You see my pattern with friendships is that they sort of wind up treating me like an unpaid therapist...tell me their troubles and ask for advice. I fall higher on the empathy scale so I offer non-judgmental support which they always seem to appreciate. Then if I have a problem, and just want someone to listen, they disappear. There are still several names on my phone where if I called them up today and asked them just to do something fun with me, yes, they would definitely be up for it. Just fun. So, I think I really need to alter my perception of friendship and what it is to be a friend. I think my friendships would be more successful if I shift my perception in the manner suggested by the psychiatrist I mentioned.

Does that resonate with you at all?

I think your friend's lateness is a reflection of her, not of you. Some people are "late" people. It is frustrating, and you can certainly cut ties, but I don't think it is an intentional mark of disrespect toward you.

The comment "I hope you can find someone else to go" was likely harmless. She perhaps felt bad that she couldn't join you and wanted to wish you a good time with someone else?

here's an article I find really helpful. I keep coming back to it.

Four Truths about Feelings That Will Set you Free

I think it might help you as you reflect on these difficulties with your friends.

You have my empathy