I agree 100% with this Blanch, and I myself have experienced way too many toxic scenarios where I was literally told that MY feelings don't matter and that what I value should not have value simply because the other person did not value or even know anything about what I did and created that had value either. If I happen to reach out for help and end up hearing that my feelings don't matter I would rather that other person respect me and step back rather than insisting I see the world the way they do and not value whatever I happen to value. So that person saying to me that it's ok to have my own feelings and they will stop expecting me to only see things their way and they will step back, I am not going to just assume they are a bad person. There have been times where I TRY to help another person and for whatever reason my input isn't really helping and that person want's to distance, I will step back too, doesn't mean I am being spiteful or bad or disrespectful by agreeing to step back.

The truth is it's not black and white, there definitely is a lot of gray when it comes to interacting with other people. Sometimes with these articles that lay out things to watch out for in others that can mean that person is a toxic or a bad person can pull you in a direction of thinking anyone who exhibits "some" of these behaviors is a bad person. Everyone has some narcisism in them, it's simply a part of being human. We all have our weaknesses and insecurities.

Often a person that has been deeply hurt by a narcissistic person is VERY sensitive, that's very understandable. Let's face it when a person is only able to see things according to their own truths and ends up blowing up at or playing their withholding toxic game and you are the victim? It can really take time to heal and try to trust again. Part of the healing is spending time learning what to watch out for in other people so you don't end up once again getting sucked into that awful trap of once again being abused and hurt. There is the sarcastic "you can have your own feelings" and an actual caring of "yes, I understand you can have your own feelings and I will step back if you wish". It's not permission, it's respect, there is a difference.