This is something I have experienced myself FROM a toxic person who insists on having ALL THE CONTROL. It has been horrible and very toxic and I even have my own thread where I often vent my frustrations about it. It's also an individual who definitely does a lot of gaslighting too. Gaslighters use a piece of truth and then they create a story of their own that is not true. It's all in their own effort to confuse and control and have the world revolve around THEM. What you just quoted above is definitely something I have experienced from this toxic person too.

One thing I have talked about is that knowing how that has so badly affected me personally, I feel that when interacting with others sometimes they actually exhibit behaviors that are "off" in some way and that CAN mean that they get upset because they themselves faced narcissistic abuse. So, IMHO, it's important to step back and think about this person's behavior and if this person is genuinely being defensive, OR, is this person manipulating you.

If someone has been manipulated by a toxic person for a lengthy time, that person can at times be immature in their responses because they are still carrying what can be a lot of narcissistic toxic messages in them where they are still working on actually feeling "free" to finally express themselves in a normal healthy way. So, just because a person doesn't react the way you expect or want, it doesn't always mean they are a bad person, instead it can actually mean they are themselves struggling with some victim mentality issues and are not able yet to respond in a healthier way.

One thing you learn as you experience life, is there is no such thing as "the perfect person". An imperfect person doesn't mean that person is a narcissist covert or otherwise.