I struggle with trust in general but especially with men but I kinda feel like the women assumed there would be trust and from day one he knew he would have to earn every little bit of it. I also know that sometimes he struggles with women. He has learned over the years what sets women off and he avoids it but I can’t say as he always understands it. He is also used to working with women from a very different upbringing and social class than I am. There are a lot of times when he is shocked that some minor oversight by him isn’t a huge deal/ rupture for me... then there was the day he forgot his filters and said that “a lot of women are petty b*tches”. OMG I laughed so hard! But he can be sensitive and compassionate with me in a way that isn’t belittling or makes me feel broken and the women I worked with never managed to pull that off.
It is also oddly OK with me that he “sees me”... like last session he called me out on freezing when I get scared instead of fight or flight. Had a woman called me out on that the walls would have gone up so fast! But with him it was no big deal. It’s kinda hard for me to be defensive with him.