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Originally Posted by sarahsweets
I do not want you to feel this way. And I wont BS you with the rainbows and unicorns crap that hallmark cards are written about. Do you have even one good-you-can-count-on friend?
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Love it! You always seem to understand me and almost even know what I'm hoping to hear sometimes!
I do have a good friend who I can pretty much always count on. He has the unique blend of featuring both a unique story of his family and upbringing while also being highly interested in what is going on in my life. We talk about everything, from sports, traveling, to mutual friends. And best of all, he has not flaked out when I have gone through life's transitions like some people have recently. Never even mind he lives 90 miles away. I also have a couple of friends who I keep in touch with also. One that I have known almost as long as my BFF has disagreed with personal issues like worldviews and such but we have of course forgiven each other and love seeing each other when we get the chance. Even with our differences we still love each other as friends and support each other through life's curveballs. Another friend I've connected with on a deeper level in more recent times, and come to find out he is almost the same person as me, right down to tastes and hobbies!
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Originally Posted by sarahsweets
I dont know about you but I do not count family as friends. I am very close with mine and they are mostly good and would do anything for me but they are not the same as friends.
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That is an interesting thought that you put in with how to view your family. Growing up and even to some extent today I have possessed somewhat of a "best friend" relationship with my parents. This isn't always a bad thing. As in your experience its beautiful to have a solid relationship with most of your family members, like I do with mine, but it's not rainbows and lollipops either. My father is sometimes annoyingly moody and both parents sometimes jump to conclusions when they don't know what to say. They have also had difficulty respecting my autonomy. I still love my parents, but maybe viewing them as family instead of friends can help boost my personal growth and independence.
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Originally Posted by sarahsweets
We talked until the birds came out but the same thing has happened with my best friend so maybe thats a crumby example. I guess just do your best to remain open-not to abuse or narcissists but just generally open to new experiences. You are right about friendships being like fishing sometimes. You can work hard at being a great friend to the ones you have and maybe that will open some doors for you. There is always therapy but I would say in many experiences that is hit or miss. I reached my therapy max and personally have had enough of it. And screw the selfies. I do not send them to my friends unless I am in one with them.
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Don't worry, I think most relationships in general start small and you can pretty much tell right away if it works out.
I've become a more fearful person since life went downhill a couple of years ago when I got cut off from a toxic summer intern early and had people ditch me for superficial reasons, but I am still hopeful of new experiences. I'm sure that's what even got me to the closest friends that I mentioned earlier. Maybe I'm just trying too hard to please people. Both my parents and BFF can count the number of friends they have on one hand (my parents: one finger), and they are plenty happy, so I just need to concentrate on the people who care the most. Despite what I've been through I've already improved a bit by counting on tighter friendships! It's encouraging that you see something new sprouting up even in friendships that already exist.