Not superficial. It’s important. Most certainly chemistry and physical attraction have to be there, otherwise might as well be friends, not lovers. Unsure how to conduct a relationship without chemistry and if people actually do that. It sounds more like friendship. How do you even get intimate without chemistry.

Saying that the most intense chemistry I ever fell was for people who were the most wrong for me. I talked to a therapist about it and she said it’s common, and I am not alone in it, so it’s not just me. Our bodies subconsciously respond to what’s familiar. Often familiar is unhealthy pattern, unhealthy relationship pattern, often stems from family of origin. When we meet somebody who could be healthy and good for us it doesn’t always feel familiar so we might not subconsciously respond as strongly. If we stick it out it though it could grow into strong love that is sustainable. I am not saying feeling strong chemistry is wrong, it is just never enough to provide feelings of fulfillment and true happiness in a long run. I most certainly attracted to my husband or I’d not bother but I am a bit cautious when I hear about most intense chemistry.