I COMPLETELY relate to your struggles, URBeautiful! I know how hard it is!
My best advice would be to just look at what you just did here! You were able to TALK about your problems so that means that it's NOT IMPOSSIBLE!
Try to find the strength in yourself to go see a therapist if you can! After all they're there to help you, NOT to hurt you! I COMPLETELY AGREE with what Mopey has already wisely said better than I ever could! You can also go the Psychotherapy Forum if you need ANY additional information about therapy and how it works!
Just try to do YOUR BEST as that's ALL we humans can do after all and it's ALWAYS MORE THAN ENOUGH!
Please keep us updated on your situation AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN IF YOU CAN AND WANT TO, OK?
WE ALL DO CARE ABOUT YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! Sending many AWESOME, BEAUTIFUL kind, safe, sweet, warm, wise and WONDERFUL HUGS TO YOU, URBEAUTIFUL, JUST LIKE YOU ARE!