Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenConfusion
I could have missed a similar post to this so if I did, my apologies.
At times, I want to share my system with others in my life to let them know whats going on and that I don't mean to just "disappear" at times. I've been nicknamed BumbleBee before one moment I'm there, the next I'm fluttering off somewhere else. Every now and then I flutter back like I never left. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but friends of the host are sometimes not friends of the parts. Lately I've been stressed to the max so I'm not in the driver seat. I've been leaning on my squad to pop in for me quite a bit which means I don't talk to my acquaintances as consistently anymore.
Other times, or should I say the rest of the times, I don't want to say a word and would rather stay internalized. I try not to get close to people or get on deep topics because I don't want them to be around long enough for a possible switch. I have told a few people very close to me and 2 out of 4 went very well as I was surprised at how they handled my news. Both saying it made so much sense....tell me about it. The other two, not so much. And I don't want to raise that number and possibly hurt myself or my system. It does get a little externally lonely at times. I've had some rude people come up to me saying I'm acting weird or that I have a strange look in my eye. That's probably because with their approach, they triggered one of my protectors.
As far as my system, it seems like the feelings are mixed as well. Some want to share and just BLAH to everyone (maybe the younger parts), others are like 'Nope!', and then I'm drawing blanks in the middle of conversations. I take the 'Nope!' route as my default 96% of the time.
How do you handle disclosing to others or not disclosing?
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I dont and didnt. not because of how they will react but more because here in america we have privacy laws, line in the sand its no ones business other than my treatment providers what my medical and mental health problems are... I mean I wouldnt stand on the street corner telling every one who walked by whether they are friends, family strangers or my neighbors. its just none of anyone elses business.
I treat my mental and physical health the same as I would any other personal information.
line in the sand I was DID since the very first altered creation before age 5 so those around me didnt see anything different, after I was diagnosed. getting the diagnosis didnt change anything other than put a name on what has been happening all my whole life, I was just the way I have always been after diagnosis as I was before diagnosis and knew what my problems were called.
As long as there are privacy laws in america I choose to follow them and hold my mental and physical health problems as one of those personal information situations that I dont have to share with others.
that said my immediate family and my wife knows what my mental and physical health disorders/ diseases are. how did they react.. my family was relieved that there was finally a name for those times I went literally and physically missing to other towns and locations. All my life before integration my family was constantly having to put in missing reports with the police, my having to be located and flown home or picked up. After Diagnosis certain things were put in place to ensure my safe return... carrying identifying information, and other things too.
my wife has been part of my healing path from the moment that we decided to life together. it was only fair to fill her in and have her be part of my therapy sessions with my treatment providers, .....before .........we lived together. She has been with me every step of the way.
....since you live in america (your profile says texas) its up to you whether or not you tell anyone. only you can decide whats best for you if you need to tell someone in your life or not, and how those in your life will react to things like this.
the fact that you are questioning whether or not you should or want to, speaks for itself in my opinion.
when I was questioning my treatment provider told me "if you need to ask then its not time. whether or not to tell someone isnt about questioning, its about a gut feeling and you will know when the time is right. there wont be any worries or questions and you will just jump right into that pool and tell that special someone in your life"
she was right in every case that do now know about my having various mental disorders it wasnt a question situaiton, it was a feels right, here you go this is what my mental and physical health. sort of like telling someone you like them or that hair do isnt flattering on you or what sex positions you enjoy. its just that gut feeling that you know when the time is right and theres no worries or questions associated with it.
if you are looking for opinions, going on this and the fact that you are questioning it rather than going with your gut and doing it, that to me says not the time yet, suggestion wait until you are sure and ready, then just do it. go with your gut, instinct on this.