I am deeply sadenned that you are going through all of this! It's great that you have witnessed a turnaround in your hub's behavior but it's always important to remember that you are unique and have your individual needs, thus continual assertion of your boundaries is necessary. You have a right to seek a marriage counselor without being controlled. This also extends to your closest friends and family members. You can speak up if you are screamed at or have seen too much temper. You have a right to end any relationship, from casual to romantic, that's not founded on security and love. Most importantly, you are a worthy, loveable, and thoughtful person with your own story, strenghts, and weaknesses! I hope you remember you have my support and everyone else's here; you are very much valued despite everything you're going through!