I was recently diagnosed with BPD. I have only been in therapy for about 2 months. Earlier this week, I had a bad session.

I got angry because I felt like she was criticizing and challenging me too much. I told her therapy isn't helping, although it's already done wonders for my anxiety and is helping me to understand (but not yet control) my fits of rage. She said it would not be good if I "bolted," and asked that I make at least one more appointment. I didn't. I know I need help, but I can't seem to pick up the phone and make a new appointment.

One problem is that I'm not working. I can't see myself as a person who needs help while also seeing myself as a functional, capable job seeker. I've been putting off looking for a job for weeks. I tell myself that I'll get a job first and then go back to therapy.

I think this is part of my black and white thinking. But maybe I need to go along with my old, bad way of thinking just long enough to start working, and then go back to therapy to fix it later. I keep going back and forth. I hate ambiguity, and I hate when decisions are up in the air. I know that is part of my problem, too.

Has anyone else with BPD quit therapy? What did you decide to do?

Thanks for any input and/or support you may offer.