Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Good for you knowing your limits and asserting your rights (in a loving manner).
The way I look at things (and I realize that my opinion might not be popular- although I think you share it), that there are things in life that we MUST do and often having to put up with unpleasantries: we must have a job to pay bills, we must provide care for minor children if we have them, we must pay rent if we are renting etc Those are “musts”.
Marriage in my opinion is not a MUST. It’s not something people have to do. One can be single and just enjoy friendships or single and date or single and live together etc etc
Since marriage isn’t something we must have, I don’t believe that we must put up with something or accept something that we don’t enjoy or allow something or even simply have less than what we want. I personally see no reason. I am not saying people must divorce after one fight or expect 100% perfection but I honestly think something close to 100% is desirable, otherwise why be married?
That’s why I am pleased to see that you want to stay if things improve and are good and you won’t put up with it if things are not right. That’s wise and logical approach.
In a meanwhile I am glad he is showing improvement. Good news!!!
|
Thank you, Divine.
I understand where you're coming from. I don't feel I
must be married. I did want to find my life partner, for as long as I can remember. I held off for years to find "the right one". I thought I had the right one in my current man. And I may still have the right partner.... he needs growth... as do I. I don't have to be married though. I can see myself still being happily single, especially if I move residence out of state and start over. That sounds drastic. But like I said before on here, a lot is at stake IF we broke up, including my entire social life. And in that case, I may opt to move out of state. But I cannot let that be a reason to stay. I have never truly been afraid to be alone or to lose something valuable for the sake of my mental health and happiness. I can be very brave and strong, and that's what I am facing. At first, it was an abominable notion.
I definitely know my limits. IF something happens that is far too toxic to my mental health, and if it becomes clear that this is in fact, a toxic relationship for me, I will have no choice but to leave. I know that much.
TY again.