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Originally Posted by Iloivar
When he stopped during that three month period, was it also sudden like what happened recently? Or was it a gradual decline until he eventually stopped?
Im curious as to why he suddenly stopped recently. Did you say something that you hadn't said before, like you telling him you can't continue like this any longer?
If the first time was also a sudden change, and you saying something with more gravity is what had him stop this time around, then your therapist may be onto something.
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The three months where he had stopped, it was not a sudden change. I made it a condition of marriage: that he not raise his voice at me ever again. I said the only way I will marry you is if that does NOT happen. It is NOT the kind of relationship I am willing to have. So he stopped, and we had a blissful three months. Prior to that, it was about once per month where he would blow up at me.
This go around, I did not say anything special. I simply put it all back on him when he started falsely accusing me of BS things (that he was projecting onto me). I told him that HE starts all the fights, and I asked him "what is wrong with you????" something like that.
But no, nothing really special. I ran upstairs to get away from him yelling and told him to just leave me alone. About ten mins later is when he completely turned it all around and changed his tune entirely.
During this fight though, I had reminded him of my condition of marriage, and I informed him that he had broken his promise to me.