Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
Yikes! That must be a very difficult relationship to have!
I think I am hypersensitive over certain ways I am made to feel unloved. Now I realize love is a kind of gray emotion. So people who are pretty hurtful generally do love you, even though they can be pretty cruel. (I really have a hard time believing this but this appears to be the case).
But my reaction is to get upset. My mood drops. I lose my appetite. I can’t fight back tears. I don’t attack anyone calling them evil. They aren’t evil. Had you done something evil? I hope for love, reassurance, empathy. But I never get that from them. Instead they get defensive and dislike me more for my being a moody crybaby. This pushes me down farther to hate myself in the moment.
This sounds like Borderline, I know.
Does the borderline turn it inward while the narcissist turn it outward? This is my personal theory.
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She is no longer in my life. I live far away and we don't talk to each other unless there is a reason I go back. Generally I avoid that for my own well-being. I just included as an example of how sensitivity of any sort is fine in my opinion. But behaving that way is not okay.
I'll assume asking if I did something evil was just a bad joke. No I am not evil and do not do evil things. I am a decent human being who happened to grow up in a highly dysfunctional family. I did therapy to move forward in life. My siblings did not and apparently think such behavior is okay. Except one sibling, she is fair-minded and kind and we maintain some level of distant but respectful relationship.