pink, sol...
i finally sent t an email. pretty much saying what i have in here - that i don't want to reach out but i need to. that i don't want to deal with it, but i shouldn't ignore it. and took a poll of the alters on who is on the "choose life" side... was pretty slim.
i couldn't call t or any dr i know... a.i don't know what i'd say, b. i don't have any privacy to talk.