That's my first post on these forums, so I'm going to introduce myself: My name is Mario, I'm a 17 year old teenager from Romania. I was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) two years ago, although I knew about it since I was 13 or 14 (knew about the fact that I could have it).

I've started developing compulsions since I was... like... 6? They were indeed a distress, although I didn't know anything about it. I was just a kid. I used to count in my head until I would reach a certain number, or touch a thing for a certain number of times, or else, as I have thought, "something bad would have happened".

Of course, those obsessions "diminished", somehow, but, as the OCD doesn't fade away, it became more "intense" on other topics.

The only thing I remember from a young age is that I used to be scared about the fact that I'm going to become a criminal. I've heard my parents talk about a kid that killed his mom, and I was afraid I would become like him. (I was 10)

My anxiety has intensified over time, and my whole suffering has started in the eight grade, as I was having some stomach ache, without knowing a certain reason. Every possibility came into my mind. At first, I thought I had cancer, than, as I have experienced headaches, a brain tumor. I was a hypochondriac. And tried to explain it to my parents, although they didn't consider it was something serious.

9th grade and I started having obsessions about me being the Antichrist. I am a believer in God and I attend Church service almost every Sunday. It started as I walked down the street and, without any reason, thought about Damien from the Omen. I looked at myself through a reflection from the store window, and suddenly became shocked: "Wow. Do I look evil? What if I am the real Antichrist? I don't want to be evil. What should I do?".
That lasted like... 3-4 months. Had some suicidal thoughts, but they faded away. Everything fine with the "Antichrist" thing now.
Next obsession was about my sexual orientation (2-3 months after the horrible episode of scrupulosity). I thought I might be gay (HOCD) and that made me ask my mom to look for a therapist.
I went to a psychiatrist, that diagnosed me with OCD. She prescribed me some antidepressants (Zoloft), although I refused to take them, because I was scared they could reduce my intelligence, or change my personality. (probably still some irrational thoughts)

10th grade... It was November or December, I can't really remember. I was attending the Chemistry class and our teacher wrote the text of an exercise on the blackboard. She told us; "Whoever solves this problem, will be rewarded an 'A' mark". Then, suddenly, the "Antichrist" obsession came back, and I have asked myself: "What if I really am the Antichrist and I am able to solve the problem by just activating my 'supernatural' powers?". And I tried to, somehow, "activate" them. I don't know what I did, I just imagined myself that I was, I just wanted to confirm myself that my doubts are irrational. Well, my bad. Why? Because at that moment, I was able to solve the problem. And I did it. Was awarded an 'A' mark and felt guilty for it. "What if I really did something 'supernatural'?"

After some internet research, I was 100% convinced I wasn't the Antichrist but still anxious I might have asked for some "evil powers" to help me. I tried it again, in the Physics class, and "worked" (although I could have done it even alone, without using those "powers").
Again, very anxious. Felt guilty because I was also awarded an 'A' mark.

Weeks have passed and I have still obsessed about those two events. I have asked myself: "What if I am going to involuntarily use my evil powers some day?" And from that day on, each day, I was anxious, whenever I achieved something. I have always had a passion for maths, and for programming. Especially for programming. From then on, I started trying to find "new algorithms" that replaced the ones that we were taught at the programming class, and even "helped" my teacher finish a program. She asked us for an idea and again, I tried "using my evil powers" to find the answer. And it "worked". And again, I was scared.

In the meantime, my obsessions about the "powers" faded away, and I started believing that I'm some sort of "genius". Tried to learn more advanced maths from the internet and solved more advanced problems. I thought I could do anything. I was so obsessive, I would find an "algorithm" for whatever happened around me. If someone would walk next to me, my algorithm would have been something like:

if (getDistance(stranger,myself) < 1m) say("Hi");

Something related to programming.

And I still didn't feel good. I felt like that wasn't me. And I don't know why, because even before that "incident" (would refer to the thing that happened to me in the Chemistry class as "the incident") I had a passion for programming, for maths, for web development. I was proud and felt very good when I developed my own apps, my own websites. I would have shown them to my form teacher (which is also my maths and programming teacher) just to see her opinion. She knew I was good, and I also knew I was good. 2-3 months before the "incident", I tried to create my own "programming language", although it wasn't really a programming language. It was just a set of functions I have changed in C++ (for those who know, created my own "header file". It isn't something hard to do, but, at that time, it was something huge for me).
Coming back to the 10th grade: I wasn't happy, and I didn't know why. My head was filled with obsessions regarding the fact that smart people can't be happy. I began reading about quantum physics, learned some basic concepts I wasn't prepared for, based on my knowledge at that time. Just wanted to "know" more and more. But not because of a passion, but because of an obsession. I was scared God would punish me. I was scared God would take my intelligence either because I didn't do a certain compulsion, or because I just don't deserve it. Doubts about those "powers" appeared again.

Finally, it was the end of the 10th grade and I was extremely depressed. That's why I have asked someone on a Christian forum if something like what happened to me can actually be possible. "You may be schizophrenic", was the response I got. I knew, deep inside me, that my thoughts were irrational, but they were too distressing. I was too anxious, and, I believe, my personality has changed. I also began having thoughts about schizophrenia. Whenever I heard something, a song, or whatever, I would ask my mother, or anyone around me, if she also heard i. I was just... scared. Scared, that I might not live a normal life. Scared, that I might be psychotic.

August, 2018, one month ago, I started attending therapy and it really worked. Well, I'm not sure if it was the therapist that helped me or if it was myself, but, I know that I'm better now. I'm still scared when I'm developing an app or something... I don't know why. I just feel anxious. Anxious, that this might not be me, or that the "incident" could have changed my way of thinking. Some new doubts, that have appeared recently, are about the fact that others may be jealous on me. And that's also very distressing.

So, what do you think? Is it only OCD? Or more than that?
Am I bipolar? Am I schizophrenic? Or is it just the anxiety?
Did my personality really change? How can I defeat those "thoughts"?