Perhaps thinking about the difference between 'hurt' and 'abuse' is more helpful? People hurt us sometimes...that doesn't mean they have abused us. A friend recently disappeared from my life. I felt hurt about that for a while but she did not abuse me, see what I mean? Also, my feeling hurt was my responsibility to deal with....I didn't put that on her.

Abuse is inherently hurtful but not all hurts are acts of abuse.

I went to a group event where there was a gift exchange. I was the new person in the group so when I picked a gift to bring, I had not met any of the other people in the group. It's hard to pick a gift for someone you don't know.
Anyway, as the gift exchange game progressed and different people chose gifts to open, my gift was opened. Several people started mocking the gift I brought. They didn't think it was a very good one. I was embarrassed and my feelings were a bit hurt but they hadn't abused me, see what I mean? I might say they were lacking decorum and good manners....but that's very different from abuse.