Have you or your therapist had any thoughts about what's behind the ambivalence for you?

Part of working through it has been working around it--finding ways to talk and stay engaged in therapy on the whole in spite of it. Part of that work has been respecting it, and recognizing that the limits set by that ambivalence are there for a reason. Which doesn't mean those limits are a permanent fixture, only that it's not healthy (most of the time) to try to just pretend they're not there.

Part of working through the ambivalence has been talking about what other things it brings up for me, and tracing some of that back to older experiences and childhood. So recognizing that there are significant reasons I have so much trouble relying on people, and exploring the difficult experiences that underlie those reasons.

Some of it has been just working on letting my therapist in on what's going on when I get stuck. Either in the moment or after the fact. Talking about the specific thoughts and feelings that come up, and letting those be a part of the picture. Which has yielded some interesting insights into what's actually going on and what feelings are being evoked, rather than just the cognitive side.