Quote:
Originally Posted by thesnowqueen
xynesthesia2, under a different topic you say:
'I would have wanted my Ts to call me out on my BS and to ask me probing questions and share observations and insights that provide a different perspective and potentially more useful tools to work on my issues. No such luck and it greatly contributed to why I gave up on therapy in the end. Looking more at the different types, I now think that a life coach or occupational therapist that focus on practical solutions and function might have been more useful for me.'
Do you think it likely that she is doing this? My last T was MUCH more mellow! In a comment above I mentioned how she wanted to insist on practical actions like noting landmarks and that this remark of hers actually annoyed me! (If it was that simple I would have been taking landmarks all my damn life.)
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Of course it is possible but, as I said, it is not always easy to know if it is that or just defensiveness. The way I knew about mine was that he was generally very sloppy and dogmatic and the apparent "challenge" was very misaligned with me, what he said just did not strike a chord with me and my issues at all. Irrelevant and it was often clear that he was projecting his stuff (I knew that because he has a ton of info on him on the public web). I don't think anyone on an anonymous forum can tell you with certainty what's going on, I just pointed out what I see as two possibilities to consider. There are people here on PC and elsewhere who apparently engage in months (or even years) of "bickering" with their Ts and get something meaningful out of it. For me, that was just not of interest. Plus, that T was also not very sophisticated intellectually, so there wasn't even the possibility of truly insightful, deeper debates and competition, just not the level I am willing to engage (it may sound condescending but was the truth for me). We were also extremely different in every sense almost, no surprise it ended up full of misunderstandings.
With my second T the intellectual part was a much better match and we never had any conflicts really. What I experienced with the first T was definitely not a meaningful pattern of mine although I do sometimes run into similar with people who have similar personalities to him, I know it is not a compatible pairing and I understand why, so not much usefulness in dissecting further.
I think the best use of comments on this forum is to consider the content if it sounds interesting but, ultimately, go with your own instinct.