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Silent_Efforts
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Member Since Aug 2013
Location: somewhere
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Default Jun 09, 2019 at 08:15 AM
 
Dear everybody,

I have gotten out of severe depression with the help of ECTs and desvenlafaxine one year ago. I'm currently doing well.

During my depressive phase I met a man 15 years older to me online. I shared details of my life which I would never have told anybody with him. This was because at the time I had decided to die. But he gave me strength to stop three major attempts which would have ended with me not being here. And I came clean to my parents. Soon I was dating him. And I started ect and medication and getting evaluated by professionals. (this was five years ago) I competed my treatment one year ago.
This man I talk of has loved me, been by my side every step of the way, picked up my calls in the middle of the night for me, spent his last penny just to come down to meet me after saving for days... And moreso, I love the person he is, kind, genuine, helpful and loving. He also has maintained that he would. Understand if I were to leave him, but he is around till I want. Him to whether it's till now or till our last breath, that's upto me.

My parents are well educated, and very good parents. They have been by my side in every aspect of my life. They have wanted the best for me and love me. The depression had nothing to do with them. And if it weren't for their support and help, I wouldn't have gotten out of depression.
However, during my depression, my parents had caught me on a Skype chat with the man I spoke above about. They were enraged. And they believed it to be the result of my depression that I was doing so with him.
The reason for this is because, where I come from, it's not decent to chat on Skype with any man, let alone a man 15 years older to you (I'm 30 and he is 45), who is of a much lower social status, who is semiemployed and living by just bare minimum, and who is spending time online encouraging a woman 15 years younger to him. I am a health care professional raised with all luxuries one can imagine. They were concerned it's very uncharacteristic of me and it's poor influence on me.

As you can see, I owe my current self, improved and alive and who can smile and enjoy life, to both-my parents and the man I met during my depressive phase.

My therapist believes I got in a relationship with the man due to depression as well.

However now I'm off medication for one year.
And I still love him. He means a lot to me. And I know I mean. Lot to. Him. He has his reasons for not earning well financially and they're purely due to poor business decisions. I imagine a life with him and want that.

But if I'm to do that, my parents will most likely close off all connection between me and them. And if I don't do that, I end up saying goodbye to the man I love for reasons mentioned above foe the rest of my life.

I need your help in judging the situation. What should I do? Do I stop dating him at the risk of forever losing him or do I tell my family about him now at the risk of hurting them?
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