Hello miron: Thank you for bringing your concerns here to PC. I noticed this is your first post. So... welcome to Psych Central. One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the depression forum. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/depression/

And then, since you mentioned your relationships with family members, the relationships & communication forum may also be one to check out:

https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/

We here on PC cannot offer mental health diagnoses. Plus I'm not a mental health professional. So I can't suggest to you what all of this may be about. Perhaps there will be other members who will have some insights or similar experiences they can share. It does sound, though, like at least some of what you are struggling with may be related to depression. So here are links to 2 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help. The second article provides links to quite a few additional articles on the subject:

Depression: Symptoms, Types & Treatments | Psych Central

Living with Depression: A Guide for Coping with Depressive Feelings | Psych Central

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.