I understand about the debt. Your hoped for solution, as stated in the last sentence, falls under the heading of day dreaming. You're allowed to day dream. It's not a bad thing. It can even inspire some constructive action. But you have to critique your own thinking. Can you go and "just make a small pile of money?" Your day-to-day expenditures may leave you with nothing to build a "pile" out of. So you may have to accept living with unresolved debt for quite a good, long while.

I understand you yearning for a chance to make a fresh start. That may not be an option. Being an antisocial hermit probably had a lot to do with how your life went off the rails. You have needs for human connectedness like everyone else. This woman came along and seemed like she'ld fulfill them. I suspect you were vulnerable, due to the hermit status. She was a wrong person to get involved with. We make mistakes - all of us. Find a fitness activity that you do with others, not alone.

Your last sentence sounds like you think it's not asking for too much. You use the word "small" twice. Actually, that is far, far from a modest goal. What you are envisioning would be a huge accomplishment. People work awful hard for a long time to make something like that come true. Formulate a more short-term goal. Can you start a little garden where you are at now? You build motivation for long-term goals by having some success at some short-term goals. Losing that 35 pounds was quite a nice, little victory. It shows you can stick to something. Sustaining effort is the challenge. (For me too.)

Fight the hermit tendency. Believe it or not, that may have set you up for grief. Find a way to get connected to others in your community. Just do it. You are isolated and lonely. You need others to help you get where you want to go.