Honestly a lot of times it feels like having emotions isn't worth it. Yeah there are good ones, but they don't seem worth reaching if you have to go through so much crap to get to them. I've always been rather jealous of people who lack them. Don't know how that sounds, but I'm gonna guess in the very least it sounds weird. Who wouldn't want to be happy? And my response to that is, oh yeah happiness is great....Or would be if I had it. The thing is I feel like I WOULD give that up if it meant never feeling like ***** again. I have more or less expressed that jealousy to someone with limited emotions before...Yeah he thought I was stupid. Maybe I am. I mean well I am in general but anyway, I don't really care. Don't have emotions, don't care what people think. I guess I know it's weird to be jealous the way some people are jealous their crush is dating someone else. I mean I wouldn't really say dissociating is lacking emotion, because it might feel much less extreme compared to other emotions, but it still feels. That's probably the closest I've gotten to no emotion and a lot of times I really prefer it. The bottom line really is just that feeling really good isn't better than not feeling anything. I'd rather have nothing. Ironically, jealousy is an emotion and it's not so great either.

Because in truth, I am that monster.
We are an awkward little system that obsesses over things. We are Sam, Beyond, Stacy, Kevin, Kitty, Shannon,Link, Peyita, Stephen, Nicole, Damon, Pumpkin, Illonor, Daran,LIly. Feel free to send random cute things.