I'm SO SORRY you're hurting SO MUCH, BlueMoon6! All the other wise, wonderful posters have already given you plenty of options so I won't repeat it too much. Definitely try to call a therapist if you can. Are you seeing a Pdoc as well? I feel like it may be useful to try to take some meds to at least try to regulate your sleep. Can you apply for disability if you're having money problems? That should help you at least a bit. Do you have anyone else in your life that can help you take care of your kids? Any friends or family members that you trust? Do you have an insurance that can help you pay for your therapist and your Pdoc? Most importantly, though, PLEASE STAY SAFE! That must be the priority BECAUSE YOU ARE IMPORTANT, YOU MATTER, YOU ARE VALUABLE, YOU HAVE VALUE AND YOU'RE WORTH IT! THE SAME THING GOES FOR YOUR KIDS! YOU'RE ALL VALUABLE HUMAN BEINGS! THAT'S A PROMISE! Of course we'll be here for you as well if you need advice and support! You can at least count on us if there's anything at all that you need! WE'LL NEVER JUDGE YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! I hope things will get better soon for you and that you'll be able to find the help you NEED AND DESERVE! WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK IN LIFE FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE A STRONG, WONDERFUL PERSON! THAT'S A PROMISE! IT IS TRUE! Let us know how things are going for you, ok? WE ALL DO CARE ABOUT YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! Sending many AWESOME, kind, safe, sweet, warm, wise and WONDERFUL HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR KIDS, BLUEMOON6, JUST LIKE THE WAY YOU ALL ARE!