If you think you are bipolar, please be careful with antidepressants. They can push you into hypomania. I take the lowest dose of one to keep from dropping below center, but I may drop it and try two stabilizers instead.
You are under so much stress that it is going to be harder to stabilize you. I do a much less challenging caregiving function, but because the “patient” is so uncooperative(wants to push everything under the rug so I’m stuck with all the research and decision making) it takes my focus off things I need to do for myself.
Psychiatric meds are not, as you know, magic bullets that can make up for a lifestyle that is too taxing for people with bipolar tendencies. Getting the proper meds will help, however, but I find I have to tell the pdocs what to do and yes, that’s pretty scary. Under many insurances they get 15 minutes for most sessions, so no wonder. You can ask for a longer session if its not just for refills, but you may have to be very firm with them. You are probably insisting on things handling medical people for your bf, and its a lot on top of that.
Caregiving is hard for anyone, but you and I have mental health challenges. We have to be creative with ways of stepping away and getting help with their care. We both appear to have some co-dependency challenges. It seems easier to jump in and help them, but we pay for that in the long run running ourselves down. I know how complicated it is, Moreso for you. We’re all here for you!