Monty, BB, yeah there seem to be few words, but Monty Girl you hit it right on spot. especially your sig: "Due to recent financial difficulties the light at the end of the tunnel has been temporary TURNED OFF ! " that is it exactly on both levels.

I know intellectually that only i can keep me safe and that i cannot look for things outside of me to make me care or do better for myself. Caring about that is a different story. but i am trying to bridge the two. well, (kiya) is working to bridge that, but getting a lot of resistance. How does one define caring and not caring at the same time? the destructives love this - they've won over half the system... i have to keep them from winning over the other half.