Your mother sounds a lot like mine was. When I was in my 40s I found out why she was the way she was. I know now no amount of reasoning would work with her; she was hatred through and through.

So, I say good for you on distancing yourself from your mother. She is not benefiting your life and just because some people are parents, it does not elevate them to a high level of respect.

You know, society pounds in our heads that mothers and fathers are to be obeyed and respected and so forth. To me, that is unrealistic. There are millions of parents who are mentally ill and can't even take care of themselves, much less children.

I think you could benefit from reading up on narcissistic mothers. It could answer a lot of your questions. Have you read up on that? Also articles on ridding yourself of toxic people from your life.

I am sorry you have had to go through this, but you are in the right place to find answers.