This is a tough question, but it is important and I am glad you brought it up, SilverTrees.

Everything boils down to the choices we make and what we do. Folks who want to get better will somehow find their way. I don't understand the mindset of someone who continues to abuse and hurt people. I learned in recovery that people will rationalize their behavior to justify it. For example, I did that when I bullied people; something they did or didn't do set me off and I told myself it was their fault I spoke to them the way I did.

Of course, it wasn't, but that was what I knew then. Those of us who learn more productive behavior don't pass the abuse on to others in our lives. Those of us who remain abusive do.