Sorry to vent on here again

Why is it that I have to spend my life trying to please people who only caused me harm.

Why do I have to live my life trying to live by the rules they gave me even though they're dead or gone from my life.

I feel shackled and chained to demands from people I know I should hate, but whenever I try to hate them I just hate myself for hating them.

Am I stupid because I still live in the shadow of other people even though they're gone.

I sure feel stupid. People tell me "They were bad to you, so why do you try to please them? They're dead anyways."

Because I don't know any other way. I'm stupid and dumb and people waste their time with me. I'll never be anyone in life. I have things to be happy for, but I just wake up in the morning sad and angry.

Feel trapped in me. I don't want to be who I am, I don't know anymore. All my energy has been sapped out of me. I'm weak.