When I was a hard core alcoholic I used to have to smoke pot to get to sleep because I drank way too much.

On Wednesday is my 3 years 11months and it will be exactly 30days to my next milestone of 4 years.

People aren’t leaving me alone as usual the constant knocks or buzz to my intercom have left me feeling like ****, because I am olzanapine odt which makes a person sleep for 12-15hours a day. And have such bad insomnia that people feel the need to knock and knock at my door. When I just want to be left alone case in point they are knocking right now and they knocked an hour ago as well. I have the right to not to answer. I am in lots of physical pain and getting out of bed to answer the door makes the pain worse. I cannot understand what they are saying on the end of the door my AC is going but I do understand they are there. It’s the same amount of pain I feel every single day, but because no understands what I am going through they tell me to visit the ER or take a pill. I take lots of pills none of which I pop for fun. This pain is osteoarthritis in my vertebrae of my spine I am often pushing through copious amounts of pain. My addiction to alcohol seems to be justified to me I was doing it to take away the pain in my spine that went unnoticed until last February 2018 with the diagnosis of arthritis from L1-L5. Then March 2019 A diagnosis of more arthritis in T10-T11 and shocker was the osteoarthritis part. I have lots of arthritis more then a person needs to find out at 33.

Ugh.

I’m just going to lay here until something happens.