I know what you mean, KD1980! I do believe it is normal to want to do that like vesseloflove has already wisely said better than I ever could! It is important NOT to fall back into these old routines though! Have you been able to find HEALTHY coping skills for you? Either way, I'd suggest to stop before dong anything that may be hurtful for you and reflect about what you're doing or what you're about to do! It DOES take a lot of self-control but I'm sure you can make if you just TRY TO DO YOUR BEST! Trying is ALL we humans can do after all! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new things and new ways to help you cope with your feelings! I DO believe it is important to learn new coping skill if we want to "get over" the older, more harmful ones! I'd definitely try to look up for them! Perhaps there are some good books ont he subject! I'd suggest you to look them up if you can and want to! Let us know if you can find what you're looking for! We're ALL ALWAYS here for you if you need advice and support! THAT'S A PROMISE! Let us know how things are going for you if you want to! WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK IN YOUR LIFE! Sending many AWESOME, kind, safe, sweet, warm, wise and WONDERFUL HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, KD1980, JUST LIKE THE WAY YOU ARE!