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Originally Posted by Salmon77
Could you maybe schedule an extra appointment with your T and talk about how you feel after therapy? Sometimes I have definitely felt a "vulnerability hangover" as you call it but maybe there's a way your T can structure things so you don't leave feeling so awful.
Also, I'm curious what kind of mindfulness stuff you were trying? For me exercise helps a lot but meditation by itself doesn't seem to work.
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I could, but I'm afraid I've done enough. 3 emails and a phone call feels too much, I'm scared of losing him. I told him not to reply to my emails unless I beg for a connection. I'm not even sure if he knew I called or not since his phone could have been off and I deleted that voicemail. I know that If I asked, he'll be there, it's just me. As for the mindfulness, I would practice the body scan meditation and one that was done by Tara Brach, The Rain of Self Compassion. I had a hard time actually letting go and letting thoughts pass. I was able to achieve it a few times, I know it's not impossible. I guess I became impatient. I should probably maybe start running, I've been thinking about it for awhile, I just hardly feel like I have the energy. Sometimes I just want to go home and sleep.
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Originally Posted by arielawhile
I'm so sorry you're struggling. Please don't judge yourself. Just adds to the burden, you know? But I know that's easier said than done (been there, done that, got the sticker). Have you tried some distress tolerance stuff...just to get through the super emotional rough patches? Like doing soduku/crosswords, exercise or taking a walk, doing something for someone else, taking a hot bath/using lotion, watching a great tv show? Just something to get your mind off your current distress level until it settles enough so you can use other skills. I find meditation helpful, but I absolutely could not do it when my distress levels were overwhelming. It was more a long-term thing that I had to develop, like just stick in my back pocket at times.
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A lot of what I used to do to relax involved drugs and alcohol. I quit alcohol, but still smoke weed. Finding healthier coping mechanisms have been difficult for me, I'm just never satisfied. But I know I really need to start exercising more, keep myself moving. Meditation is very difficult for me when I already lost my head. I'm trying to learn the "art of pausing", to recognize these feelings and stop them before they become too much, but it's easier said than done, ya know?
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Originally Posted by SalingerEsme
Therapy can trigger regression , and it isn't always safe. Do take care, and ask your T to work on strategies to cope with that much emotional pain. Do you think you are tapped into/ commented to a more deep past pain than the strictly the present tense ?
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Oh yeah, I'm stuck in the past and I just can't let go. What I'm trying to do is to tell my T everything, but I'm having a hard time expressing the feelings that go along with it. For example, I'll be calm in session explaining something that angers me, but then feel that anger after session. I'll leave fine and end up sending him emails and texts saying I'm miserable. I must be confusing the crap out of him.