Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueberrybook
I’m so sorry. When I first got on psych meds, I was young, 18 or 19. They put me on Remeron, and I didn’t know any better. That med makes nearly everyone gain weight; vets even use it to stimulate appetite in cats and dogs. In my case, I gained fast because all I did was eat and sleep, but it felt so out of my control. Nearly turned to bulimia but I physically can not make myself throw up except a handful of times.
Edema is awful though. I had it happen once when I changed brands of birth control pill. In just over a week, I was so swollen. Had to stop the pill. And it happened at the end of pregnancy (just the normal amount expected especially when you go pas5 your due date like I did), but that you just pretty much pee out.
Did the doc weigh you or are you weighing yourself between appts. If it’s at the pdoc’s, can you ask to be weighed backwards ? I am assuming your pdoc knows your history with EDs?
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The pdoc weighs me at the office when I come in. I usually don't weigh myself. I can get obsessive about weighing if I start so I just don't.
I'm hoping a lot of the weight was the edema. I'm tempted to go weigh myself on my mom's scale. Since I stopped the medicine, the edema has gone down a lot. It's not all the way gone yet but it's lessened.
I'm wanting to restrict too. Which is bad especially, because I have diabetes, and my blood sugar can drop and make me sick. It's 5:30pm and I've only eaten once today. I'm hungry, but I don't want to eat.
I can't make myself throw up either, honestly. I used to abuse laxatives for purging. Any time I genuinely need them, it's triggering. I hate having to take them. I don't keep any in the house ever. My brain is telling me to go buy some, and I'm trying to fight it, but it's getting really hard.
I'm honestly not sure if I have been honest with my pdoc about the ED. It's been so long since I've acted out on it that I don't mention it with my history usually. It's one of those things that I'm hesitant to have labeled. It follows you, you know. If it's mentioned, when you're in the hospital, they watch what you eat and don't let you go to your room for awhile after meals. It just seems like a lot of judgement follows when your labeled with an ED.
The thoughts of wanting to purge are strong today. And my brain is like, if you don't eat then you don't have to purge. I hate my brain. I want to just be able to enjoy food like a normal person.