Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenConfusion
My experience with my husband knowing about my diagnosis has been very interesting. He actually saw a switch right before his eyes before I received any diagnosis, so he's been on this journey of multiple discovery with me. It's still been tough.
My husband is a social butterfly (opposites attract?) and several people that would come around would say I "looked weird" (those were one of the more rude comments) or I had a different look in my eye. I always hear something similar to "yep, ya damn skippy" response from inside and try not to laugh. In those situations, I'm usually dealing with easily judgmental people so I don't even attempt to hold a long conversation.
In my interactions lately, I've shared similarities with some very close to me AFTER THEY bring up their own stories first. They can understand and relate personally to the PTSD, depression and anxiety. Even adjustment disorder. In my mind I'm just like man you sure do have a lot in common with a multiple. Some of my parts are.......intense......to say the least. It's been tricky even keeping them under wraps. I've had quite a time trying to remember how I'm supposed to handle situations and interactions. I've also been blocked out a couple times.
But I love reading the experiences so thank you everyone for sharing. I recently had to cut loose my T. Too many red flags and our last interaction was not the best. I don't even feel my T was even listening to me. The second to last session, I was talking a bit and I looked up to my T yawning, rubbing her eyes, and sighing deeply. I'm like damn what the hell lady? I already hate therapy, always have. But I'm grateful for these forums. This discovery phase is a bugger. And it's nice to not be alone. Disclosing is tricky, seems safer not to disclose.
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Queen,
Maybe it's time to find a new T who gives a ***! I recently said goodbye to my T of 4 years. I don't know why I went to her for so long. And when I finally started to try my best to describe what I was experiencing, she knew she was in over her head. I am so grateful to now have a T who has worked with DID clients and who is not freaked out by it....but also not grossly "fascinated" about the DID. It feels important to strike a balance between the two, so that there is no prompting by a T who might cause harm or make suggestions.
Thank you for starting this topic. This will be an ongoing one for me, for sure. I so appreciate hearing others' experiences, stumbles, ideas about this....I'm sure it is quite individual for all of us, but it helps to know I'm not the only fish in this sea.
This weekend I had a very strong depersonalization episode. My husband could tell something was wrong. It was the first time I shared with him directly, I told him I am having a strong dissociation thing. It will pass." I could see in his face he was relieved, and then I knew we really didn't need to talk about it much. I did my go-to grounding tricks while he was in the shower, wrote about what it felt like in my journal. And talked about it with T today...
Having all of you here helps remind me to follow the steps to take care of myself during scary moments.
FearLess47