Today I put a call into a local trauma therapist I was referred to by a prominent national center for wellness.

I am really afraid to defrost.

What has been stored up and experienced by me for so many years took that many years to freeze shut. I spend my time being alone in the midst of people.

I have no pleasures and my sleep is disturbed by flashbacks.

I have a family that relies on me and I have been in the shadows for months. As I get older it gets harder to freeze the new traumas. I feel I am losing my touch. Admitting anything more would wipe out what little I am able to contain.

What has been your experiences as you get on the road to recovery--or it is a road to adapt ? Can't pretend it didn't happen. Who really cares about me other than me after all these years. I am a fool for thinking the damage doesn't plan to eat away at what I have left, that it will, in the end, rob me of what I undoubtedly have as an inestimable treasure?