Dismissive! Yes! That's the correct adjective to describe my glib cousin's stupid Facebook message to me, that she wrote today. She was VERY dismissive, the way she talked about how busy her four children makes her life. WTF! You can take 5 minutes to call your cousin to offer emotional support, can't you? Nope, she can't, for me, apparently. For my sister, of course!

I don't have anyone. And I am not exaggerating that unfortunate fact. I lost my social networks of people when I stopped participating in Meetup groups about five years ago. And I was substitute teaching and never had any money, (an excuse, I realize now) so I stopped going to Meetups and lost all of the social connections I'd made.

So, I effed myself in that sense. I do have a lot of cousins here on my dad's side, but like I wrote in my OP, they don't want to be involved, and they want me kept at arm's length from them. If it were my sister or brother, they'd welcome them with open arms, however.

Both my sister and brother have their own families and have stable lives as well with jobs, sustained social networks of friends and acquaintances. Again, not their fault that my life choices led me to this path that I'm currently on. But I'm here, and I have to find a way off of it, and back on a path of stability with a full-time job, a roof over my head that is safe, and a social network of friends who like and respect me. None of that seems achievable when you're homeless. FYI.

So, if I can't find a place to live until my next grad school refund -- if I get my extension from my program director so that I won't fail out of my program only 2 courses in -- then in late August/September I get another refund when I register for a fall course. I just have to cover where I live, for July-August, and I found a Handbook of the Streets online, so I will just peruse that tomorrow and call and try to get my name on the waiting lists of shelters for women here in my city. I mean, what else can I do? I can go on craigslist, and try to find a roommate situation, but I don't want to pick the wrong situation because I'm in desperate circumstances.

My cousin's dismissive Facebook message just reminds me of the ****** people in this world, who have plenty of "thoughts and prayers" they offer online, but when push comes to shove, and they're required to show their hand of cards, they fold, or bluff and refuse to play. They refuse to follow through on their empty words when the person or situation asks them to. Pretty much my cousin to a T.