Who cares about you? You need to care about you. You need to matter to you.
I am in a similar position to you. I have a therapist. We have been seeing her for nearly two years. We stand on the brink of the precipice. I know what hell is in there. I know how much I am going to hurt when we open it up. I know it is going to be so awful.
But I also know it is the only way through to Life. This - currently - is Not Life. To use your analogy, this is simply spending all my energy and time trying to hold that damned freezer door shut. It's a heck of a way to live a life.
I really want to be free to move away from that stupid freezer and walk outside. I want to feel the sunshine. I want to freaking Live.
But I think the only way to do that is to open the damned freezer, let all that rotten stuff out, clean it up once and for all, and then be free to walk away and leave it behind. Sometimes that rot has to be picked up and thrown away once and for all.