My Support Forums - View Single Post - I may have made a mistake getting married

seesaw · Jun 12, 2019 at 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by golden_eve

Hi Tisha. It's not like that.

Our finances are mainly separate, with some shared expenses. He is responsible for his own debt and bills and so am I.

It's more so that he is the big spender, doesn't know how to save or budget very well, so I budget for us. I am not acting as his mother, but I do have to be firm about not accruing more debt, paying down debt and budgeting.

I have my concerns, and yes, one is financial, but we've agreed to pay down debts and he's agreed to respect my spending limits.

I really don't want to cast negativity onto my marriage at this point. I have my concerns, and one is financial, but it's under control at the moment. Overall, I do feel better than when I first started this thread.

This isn't actually abnormal to have one person who takes the lead in managing the finances. My sister in law manages my brother and her family's budget and my mom manages the budget for her and my dad. The husbands arent irresponsible and they check with the wife before major purchases. The wife in these marriages is simply the one keeping track, balancing the check book, etc. Neither my brother or father are incapable..it's just how the duties lay out.

And he may just need encouragement that he can be financially responsible, which you are giving him. A lot of people just didnt develop that skill growing up but can build it in adulthood easily with some attention to it. I'm sure you both will manage it. It doesn't sound like hes raring to make super big purchases or anything.
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