Yes, people are only responding out of concern and care for your safety and well being. No one means any harm by their comments and concerns.

I would also personally be most wary of someone whose ex had held them by the throat with a knife. Why? Because that indicates an extremely volatile relationship that became violent and you don’t know his level of participation in it. Why was he with her for so many years? Was it an abusive relationship on both partners behalf? Do u know all the details? That on top of the protection as you name it, and a past that was “dark”, I would be very very wary of this man.