5 Victim-Shaming Myths That Harm Abuse and Trauma Survivors and Encourage Spiritual Bypassing
This is a helpful article that anyone can gain from reading IMHO.
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Dr. George Simon, an expert on highly manipulative people, notes that our immense level of conscientiousness and agreeableness leave us more vulnerable to further manipulation. As he writes, “Disturbed characters know how to spot the conscientious. And they’re eager to exploit and abuse them. Sadly, sometimes overly conscientious folks delude themselves. They think they can “fix” the morally broken among us.”
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A lot of good people get hurt. It's important to pay attention to what is said above. A good person doesn't always see the warning signs right away. Often they see the pain and genuinely want to be helpful to the other person.
A lot of behaviors that "some" people display is all about their own desire for "control". Abusers actually can come across as nice people yet, it's just something they use as a tool to gain their own sense of control over others.
It's important to be able to talk about suicide because a person can be so badly hurt and abused and overwhelmed emotionally that they can actually consider giving up on life entirely. However, it's not something that should ever be used to control others with.
I have myself experienced the stage of ptsd where I was so overwhelmed that I genuinely felt that no one could help me and all I would be was a burden to others. It was not anything I ever imagined experiencing either. I was at a dangerous stage at one point where the urges were very strong. I actually can understand why people give in too. The important thing about what I learned is that it's something that presents with extreme emotional duress and it can come in waves and luckily for me I happened across someone that talked about it and explained how it comes in waves and goes away. Learning that saved my life because I paid attention and saw this person was right. I also found the right help from a therapist that really did understand trauma and also was able to do actual trauma therapy.
There is a difference between someone who talks about it because they are so emotionally overwhelmed and genuinely feel totally powerless and someone who is walking a very dangerous line with it. It's definitely deeply concerning and even scary when someone decides to burden you with saying they are going to end their life when you are clearly not a professional and may not have a response to that challenge.
At any rate, anyone can find themselves suddenly caught up in someone else's emotional duress and end up not having all the answers. As I mentioned I experienced this myself only to end up being put down for whatever I failed to do for the person. It can happen and that's when you need to walk away from the situation itself.