Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdDancer
I'm sorry that you got to the point of a break with reality, @ fern46 . I'm happy, however, that you now focus on things that are better for your health and family and know that a certain amount of moderation in passions is important.
I am so glad you mentioned a tendency to hyperfocus in bipolar disorder. That is not discussed much at all from what I've seen, and when you google it you almost exclusively come up with only ADHD-related results. Do you also have ADHD? I definitely don't meet the criteria for that disorder, and yet hyperfocusing was/is a common symptom in my hypomanias and manias. Like you described, it often increased my mental acceleration to the point of a psychological car crash. It's amazing also how one can become totally "deaf" to other major things in life. |
I don't have ADHD, but I've taken a couple of tests for Asperger's and I might be on the spectrum. I'm odd in a funny and playful way and learned to do well socially, but I am hypersensitive and tend to hyperfocus. I grew up not even knowing Asperger's was a thing, but it fits looking back.
Hyperfocus can be a powerful tool for good, but you have to be really smart about where to focus your energy. I normally choose well and I was fighting for something good so I just didn't see what it was doing to my mind. My husband said I'm like John Nash from A Beautiful Mind or Carrie from Homeland when I get dialed in on something. Not sure if you've ever seen either one of those, but they are decent examples of obsessive hyperfocus behavior. I think John Nash was a schizophrenic and Carrie from Homeland is bipolar.
It starts out well and spirals out of control. I had never had it backfire on me until it did, so now I know better. There are limits to what I can do. Its kinda like mania in low gear that exploded all of a sudden.
My doctors are still leaning toward me not being bipolar, but something is wrong...