Self-care is extremely important, I struggle with it also. Doing small things to keep yourself sane is an awesome tool. I love sitting at my local coffee shop to study. A simple change in scenery can make all the difference. I think the best thing you can do is try to balance the empathy given. When he's home let him complain and let him know you're there and love him but when he leaves to go to work let the problems go with him. That way you can focus on yourself and what you need to do to accomplish your goals. Try not to let the things you can't change bring you down. Instead, try to focus on the things you can control and be there to pick him up (to an extent). Mostly struggling with this just shows you have a big heart. Stay strong.