Here are links to 4 articles, from PC's archives, on the subject of how to start as well as have a difficult conversation plus 1 on the subject of how to talk to someone who always gets defensive & 1 on how to avoid responding defensively:

5 Ways to Prepare for a Difficult Conversation

Tips for Talking About Tough Topics

Effective Conversations About Difficult Issues | The Emotionally Sensitive Person

Uncomfortable Conversations: How to Overcome Awkward Moments | Anger Management

How to Talk to Someone Who Always Gets Defensive

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/anger...-conversation/

My best wishes to you...