I got off the online dating sites because I did not want to meet anybody. Then, I went online to a penpal site. Well, I thought I would talk to people for fun and I did.


However, I became impulsive and started to get entangled with men who wanted S&M or affairs although they are married. I put a stop to this nonsense and blocked all of them on skype and this site.


I like one man who I may never meet but we have some common aspects in our background. We are both single with no children, and we just want to have fun while chatting. I don't expect anything from our friendly chitchat.


I was becoming afraid of my entanglement with men who wanted to meet me and see me although they are in another country far, far away. I am not in a situation where I can just meet people and tell them this. However, it does not seem to register so I just let them go by cutting them off. I feel bad about what I did but realized that I cannot become emotionally involved with others who have no concern for my situation.

I was surprised that a penpal site would be a cover for being a dating site. I am glad I stopped my interactions but am not too happy that I could not stop it sooner.

I am glad I found someone to chat with and am glad we are so far away that we may never meet unless we move mountains. I really wanted to find a female language partner but this site seems to be riddled with people who are seeking dates.

I am lonely at times and just want to chat with people. However, it becomes a problem when my impulsiveness takes over and I can't realize at that point that men just want to see some naked body parts which should not be displayed in public. I am a ham sometimes and like attention but know that acting impulsively without realizing the consequences is not good for my illness and my mental stability. Thus, I am glad I stopped this nonsense and requested only female language partners. However, now nobody is messaging me which is ok but it is rather a stark difference from before. Oh well! I want to control my impulsiveness but it is always in hindsight that I realize I acted impulsively. The shot I am receiving helps but does not help with my judgment nor my behavior when I feel irrational. It is always a battle.