I posted quite a while back about a woman (she would be upset at calling her that) I met online from Russia. Well, it is getting very real. I got sucked into this really quickly, and it took me a while to realize how similar she is to me. A more outgoing version of me anyway. I think she is the puzzle pieces I have been missing my whole life.
I have known her since last October and it seems like I have known her my entire life. I never believed in such nonsense such as soul mates but I am questioning it now.
The problem, not that it is a problem is that she got her visa (She really did fly to Siberia to get it) and plane tickets and will be here in a little over 3 weeks.
Unfortunately, her vacation is only 2 weeks but hopefully that will be long enough to know what we want to do afterwards.
We got really serious, really quickly and she has pulled it back a lot since the plans were set and there is a lot of wisdom in it. She is not coming to see what little things there are to do in my city, she just wants to have a peaceful visit and see what happens. No plans, no expectations and we had made a lot before this became real, but we tossed all that.
I have a physical and dental appointment the first Monday after she arrives and that is our only set plan, she wants to come with me because she knows how nervous I get. She wants to see what it is like to live with me, go bike riding and whatever else we decide to do but she really wants to know if she would like my home and would enjoy living with me.
That is a little tough for me, and I think it is for her but is very wise since we are seriously exploring if we should be together. I can get a little intense and how quickly we fell for each other scared the crap out of her and she vanished last winter for 2 weeks while she sorted things out, that nearly killed me. Literally. So, I think this is the best approach to take it, well I hope it is.
Other than those two weeks we talk, either through text or video chat twice a day almost every single day, anywhere from 5-12 hours total depending on the day. We never get bored or run out of things to talk about. I have close to 600 photos and videos of her and she has quite a few of me as well, which is amazing. I normally pitch a fit when asked to get my picture taken or to talk into a camera. I don't even look into mirrors but she insists I am not horrifyingly ugly.
I was worried our age difference would trip us up, I am 50, she just turned 37 but it seems to be a positive thing. I do not look or act like I am 50, I probably act a little younger than she is. She really likes how I can be serious when needed but not at all the rest of the time.
The big issue for me is that I have been alone since 2002. No girlfriends and not even a friend to speak of since then. I am scared how I will react with someone staying with me, she claims to want to sleep in the same bed and I am worried I will not handle it well. What if she wants to hug or kiss or even more than that?
She knows that I have been alone for so long and she claims it breaks her heart and she understands I might be a little awkward but she expects it to not last long, what if it does? I used to be awkward in chats and videos but not anymore but that is different than having her in front on me. Strangely, my awkwardness is what made her interested in me initially so I guess it is not a bad thing. She knows about my physical and mental issues and is not scared about it and does not give her pause at all.
I am very scared I will ruin it by being too awkward and am terrified my life is too boring for her. She knows everything about my days, my past everything so there should be no surprises but you never know what someone is really like until you spend time with them. Is there any advice or tips on not to blow it with someone I hope to spend my life with?
I am just so happy that my initial feelings about her were correct. I didn't see it then but if I had met the wrong person, I would have been easy to take advantage of and that would have destroyed me. Not that I would have been suckered out of money but if I bumped into a scammer that I thought cared about me, that would probably end me.
Any advice is greatly appreciated!