I have been myself through all her chats, I am never deceptive. It is hard to accurately describe how awkward I am, especially in person. Plus, I fear that being single for so long may have given me odd habits. I am just so ugly, boring and worthless that I feel like she won't like me even though I am the same person online or in real life, and she seems very interested in me so far.

I haven't been hugged(other than my kids and grandkids) for the better part of 2 decades and the thought of hugging her really makes me nervous and she told me she wants that when I meet her at the airport. It is causing a lot of worry in me, which underscores how pathetic I am.

The only time she gets upset at me is when there is a miscommunication, she reads English precisely so my lazy English sometimes causes minor misunderstandings but it is quickly resolved. The only time I felt like I needed to walk on eggshells is during her monthly cycle, when she gets a little uptight but I have learned not to do that so that isn't a problem anymore. Basically, it is my stupid insecurities and nothing on her end. It was similar for her when I have bad headaches but she learned I can talk normally during them, just a slower pace.

I don't not have an aggressive bone in my body. As awkward as I am, people, especially women, quickly feel safe and secure around me. It is an odd contradiction. Even at my wildest, I come off as calmer than an average person is normally. I offered to get her a hotel at my expense and she told me she would prefer to stay with me because she is not coming as a tourist, unless I was uncomfortable with it. I am not, at least not for my safety. If she is violent and is coming to do me harm, then I completely misread her and I probably deserve to be hurt.

I told her that I know she is taking a huge risk. She feels we know each other so well that it should be okay. I let her know that for whatever reason, I will put her in a hotel if she decides that is what she wants.

Yes, she has a son but he is not coming. He will be going to Georgia(the country) with his father.

We have had the STD/pregnancy talk, so we will be safe on that front if something actually happens.

I almost wish she did not get approved for the visa, not that I do not want to see her. She was convinced that she would not get the visa because she heard it was one of the hardest to get so we made a backup plan to meet in Romania and after seeing Bucharest and Dracula's castle, we would spend almost 10 days on the beach of the Black Sea. That sounds much more fun than spending time in my dumpy town and house and it would put us on more equal footing since neither of us are from there. But she got a three year, multiple entry visa which certainly has many benefits for us.

Hopefully, that put you at ease a little.