A snip from yesterday's session with ex's therapist:

I get that this was the second time he'd met me and the first time he'd seen us both together. I get that we had to start somewhere, and best to begin at the beginning. I get that what he went over was pretty standard boilerplate conflict resolution communication strategies. But what the t doesn't know is the way language was used to twist reality, and that all of the language about perspectives and reflective speech and everyone's perception being equally valid was used against me when I was in couples therapy with the kids' dad. The ex would nod and look engaged and say the right things, and then go home and use the therapy language as another weapon.

So...when the t said, "Everyone's perception is equally valid," I didn't throw my pencil at his head and say "NO. That is not true."
And when he said, "The question I want you to address is 'What do I want you to know about me?'" I didn't say, "(Ex) gets to know nothing about me...there is a Keep Out sign with a skull and crossbones on it. He doesn't f***ing get to know me."

I just held the stupid Sharpie and said what I needed to say to get through the divorce conversation. And it worked. So there's that.

I have to do it again in two weeks. F***