Mopey, as for your previous post: not wanting to quit T., what should it mean? I want to keep going because it helps me with daily struggles, not because i want or hope it will stop my sui ideations.

As for hope, i was talking in general. Hope means you have a little reason to live and i dont want that. HOW DO YOU STOP HAVING HOPES? expectstions maybe, but hope? I dont think.theres a way to stop having them.

As for P, im doing exactly what you suggested actually. No plans, just let things go spontaneously. But i had to prepare something to say to explain the long sick leave without lying.

I know thinking too much about whay MAY happen is no good, but i need to feel in control and have a way to deal with whatever could happen.

I know its about control. And i know i cant control others but i can prepare myself in the best way i can.

As for what to tell P, i think mentioning d epression in a lighter way couldbe the best way to go. But anyway, we'll see...

Thank you Mopey for your support and helping me think things through.
Love you hugs