Quote:

Originally Posted by sinking Mopey, as for your previous post: not wanting to quit T., what should it mean? I want to keep going because it helps me with daily struggles, not because i want or hope it will stop my sui ideations. As for hope, i was talking in general. Hope means you have a little reason to live and i dont want that. HOW DO YOU STOP HAVING HOPES? expectstions maybe, but hope? I dont think.theres a way to stop having them. As for P, im doing exactly what you suggested actually. No plans, just let things go spontaneously. But i had to prepare something to say to explain the long sick leave without lying. I know thinking too much about whay MAY happen is no good, but i need to feel in control and have a way to deal with whatever could happen. I know its about control. And i know i cant control others but i can prepare myself in the best way i can. As for what to tell P, i think mentioning d epression in a lighter way couldbe the best way to go. But anyway, we'll see... Thank you Mopey for your support and helping me think things through. Love you hugs

Thanks for this, Sinking, all of these points are good points and have caused me to re-evaluate what I said.

First of all, I guess that as to your T, the way I see it is that your day-to-day struggles are in fact your life. While you have day-to-day struggles, even though you may have thoughts and ideations, you are still alive. I see that as a positive thing, myself.

As to hope, of course we all have hopes and aspirations. Wouldn't be human if we didn't. But I've read a lot of New Age philosophers, and they often say to stop concentrating on our hopes, and I think what that has come to mean for me is to stop living on our hopes and saying, Gee, when THAT happens I'll finally feel OK. I.E., I'll only feel good about myself if I can get married. I'll only feel good about myself when I can do a double pirouette. That sort of stuff. Sure you can have hopes and goals, but it's also possible to have a sense of yourself as having value, quite outside your goals and accomplishments and hopes.

Naturally, of course you need to find something to comfortably say to P. I see nothing wrong with a mention of your depression. And I'm also interested in how your meeting turns out. Hope it goes well.

And of course you must try to prepare yourself as best you can for what you are able to foresee. I do the same thing, of course. I am constantly anxious, and therefore spend hours ruminating about what if this happens, what if that happens, and what will I do if it does. I just TRY to realize that I can't control everything! (LOL)

I am in no way any better than you or any wiser (I am just older), and I hope we can just think of ourselves as online friends, completely equal to each other. The way I think of it is, Mickey and I, who have been posting with you a lot lately, are outside your situation rather than inside it the way you are, and so can offer a different perspective. That's all, really.

Till next time, be well.